Category: Free flow

I imagine that at the moment of my birth

When I told you I wanted to come to Earth

You gave me your approval

Took joy in one hand

And pain in the other

Put your hands together

Shook them thoroughly

Made two fists again

And let me choose

I mean

That is what you call free will, right?

You make us pick

Why would I otherwise see people going through a lot of shit smiling

And others walk a flawless path crying?

I guess we make our choice before arrival

And believe we have to stick to it

That no matter what

Those who chose pain will not know joy

And those who wanted joy will always be free from pain

Is that it?

You know what?

I would like to go back

To make a new choice

Would you allow me?

Can I give back what I chose and start all over?

I thought that pain would teach me more

But I really learned enough

I am tired now

Can you please allow me to do a full reset so that I can go for the goodies right away?

I now know what I want

I now can do a conscious job

I can concentrate on your hands

Look through your skin and bones

Look through your muscles and tissues

Use my intuition

Use my first and second eye

Use my third and fourth eye

Use my taste and ears and skin

Do everything within my power

And not make that silly mistake again

Never again!

Never again!

Never again!

For my Tai Chi teacher

Me, am I only this body walking around?

Full of scars and lacking direction?

Am I the song with no rhythm, no rhyme and no sound?

A fragmented tale of disconnection?

Am I fat and skinny all just the same?

Full and empty, sane and insane?

Plastic girl with no words on my face but a smile?

A failed runner not reaching the mile?

Who ever is me, watches me and will see

A wall that is made out of bricks

I built it myself so I could easily hide

Behind the structure I chose to be thick

From there I would sit to observe and stand by

To believe I could not make a change

That whenever I change, I replace me instead

By a picture I would rather be

From where-ever I am, I would thus watch myself

Let the wall grow and come after me

It did never protect me from the monster I feared

As the threatening wall became me

Is the world painted dark? I got lost in its shades

It’s myself now that I really fear

I can’t run, can’t hide in the circles I shaped

A scorpion haunting it’s tail

Am I really this girl fighting fiercely and wild

Against life just to simply survive?

The world seems to harass my sensitive mind

Is it only in dreams where I thrive?

I mirror my teacher to calm down and commence

And slide into the form through the sand

My first perfect step moves my foot to the left

My body follows, my arms and my hands

Little stones on the soil press into my skin

Print the pattern of existence’ own soul

From the soft yellow sand where no pain can exist

I glance up to the sun and then bow

I breathe in deep and softly, my arms do the work

Move my hands up in front of my eyes

I pull up the energy sprouting out of the earth

Fill my life with the power of light

I breathe out with no thoughts, my hands seek the soil

Send the waste of my body down there

It streams back to the earth where the worms take it in

And digest it to make life again

With my next inhalation love comes back to me

I move beyond me and myself

It won’t matter here if I’d became someone else

As it’s here, only here, where I am

Forgive me

For not having understood

That mom’s pain was never meant to be mine

That there was no reason for me to receive her suffering

And there was none for you to get mine

Forgive me

For carrying on all her doubts

For storing her trouble in me for so long

For letting it grow until it bursted out of my pores

For allowing it to spill over into you

Forgive me

For not saving you from that pain

For letting it sneak into your lungs and your hearts

I never wanted to give you the hurt that I felt

Nor the fear nor the anger or wants

I tell you this ’cause she came recently down

To reassure me that our mother is fine

That her suffering wasn’t a timeless curse

That she lifted her karma

Gave it back, not to us

But to Mother Earth to digest and transform

Then she gave us the power

To reconsider our pain

To review the worth of our sadness and fears

She told us to please wash it down with rain

So that her love and her joy do remain

I feel safe in our world

A world that greatly respects all human and non-human bodies

As an inherent part of the universe

And of the planet we call Earth

I happily take care of my physical body

Honoring its strenghts and weaknesses

The emotions that move through it

The joy and pain it processes and dissolves

And I am aware that it is my personal responsibility, only mine

To take care of it and help it evolve, grow and bloom

In our world we, the people, care for each other

And for all living beings out there

We celebrate the knowledge passed on by our ancestors

And weigh the value (each step on the way) of progress and innovation

There is no need to fear life nor death not for me not for you

As we are supported by each other and the source

We have access to the resources we need

Leaving enough in place for others and future regeneration

Gifted with individual responsibility and the free will to choose

I am learning to humbly ask for help whenever I need it

To gratefully accept it whenever I receive it

And to generously give it when I am invited to do so

I enjoy full agency over my choices in a caring and sharing world

What a wonderful challenge life is!

A village wakes up from a rainy night

Owned by many a coving dove

Empty ancestral streets connect giant colonial stones

As a Sunday prepares for Church

Floors filthy with dirt from last night’s youth

Bars open serving black coffee and cakes

To old men who woke up early today

To share their news and loud laughing jokes

Green mountains stand tall in the mist far above

A cow sighs good morning to me

Her mouthful of greens makes me stop at her smile

As her eyes take warm hostage of mine

She chews and she smiles

And I tell her out loud

How lucky she is to live here

To eat from these juicy grasses and greens

To drink from this pound and be safe

Women walk down to the sound of the chapel’s bells

By the entrance they meet with their men

Together they pray for those that are gone

And for those who are new here as well

A woman sells bread in the park by the church

A man molests black hopping vultures

This moment of peace don’t break ’til some tough speeding bikes

Wake the sweet past sounds up to the now

Wat een plezier! What a relief!

This existence in peaceful soledad

A joy to live this bello introvertisismo

A hole of spaceless veiligheid

Hier bestaan geen fouten, geen vergissing

No judgements from here or from afar

No stakes, no challenges, no tests

I am and that is all I am

No rules tell me which words to use

Or how to build my exclamations

No voice from behind molests my soul

No red lapices pollute my frases

I become my own believer

Fertilize my innocense

Fearlessly I trust my heart

and start creating with firmeza

Spinnen worden niet vertrapt

Schorpioenen niet verjaagd

Geen dier of plant wordt uitgesloten

And other dialogues persist

Ik ben vrij, a fly, a bird!

Qué sensación más placentera

As I write I can’t be hurt

But search within for what is love

XXX

Met zacht gesloten dichte ogen

Ben ik een licht in dit heelal

Weerloos zwevend over banen

Reciprocally linked to all

Reaching out to las estrellas

Madre tierra, padre sol

I look around to see there is nothing

When there is everything I need

I live infinite possibilities

My heart is real, oh girl, o boy!

Realmente es posible

That I completely libre soy – Para Ikayita

My skin is thin

Very thin

Crispylike thin

Paperlike thin

Tearable paperlike thin

Burnable paperlike thin

Eadible paperlike thin

Dissolvible paperlike thin

An easy prey

To be torn apart

To be burned down

or eaten

An easy prey

To be hit and hurt

Smashed like a sandwich

Or beaten

How come, I did not see before

You being exposed to so much dirt

Why did I wait for your rebellion

But your change in colours made me see

I thank you for that, my lovely skin

And turn my focus now to you

I rebuild our aura tight around us

To reinforce safety from within